


Year Twenty-Three (Besh)

by DarthAstris



Series: Heirs To The Empire (Besh) [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Basically I'm an asshole and wanted to write something really sad, Child Abuse, Dark Side Leia AU, Depression, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 05:17:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7999990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthAstris/pseuds/DarthAstris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based very loosely off a projected future of a tabletop Star Wars RPG I'm playing with some friends right now, which started off with Ben and his twin brother, Anakin, at age 16. They are now 23 (thus, the title). Nothing in the Besh series is related to the progress of the actual game, or to other fics in the Besh series.</p><p>Set in an Infinities AU where Leia Organa turned to the Dark Side during ANH, killed Vader herself, became the Emperor's apprentice, then killed him to take over the Empire which has now been thrown into civil war by her actions. Instead of marrying Han Solo, she married Imperial TIE pilot Turr Phennir and, a year later, gave birth to twin sons, Anakin and Ben. (Longer timeline of events can be found in "Year Sixteen (Aurek)".)</p><p>Where our tale begins: Despite Leia's desire that Ben wed a member of an Elder House to solidify her position as Empress and secure her children's futures, through his efforts in battle he has earned her favor and her blessing on his future marriage to Hux.  Her promise, however, does not stand if either of them does something to fall out of favor, and she's just discovered something about Hux's past that could jeopardize their relationship forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The underage tag is just a precaution: they're not underage in this story, but they do recall some things that happened to them when they were younger. Just so you know.

Hux entered the Death Star's throne room, wondering why Empress Organa had summoned him and eager to do his duty.  Generally, these meetings indicated that he was about to be sent off on a secret assignment, and though he wore his usual, serious expression he was pleased to be called upon.  Unlike many who were called to court, he held only a slight amount of fear toward her.  Awe and respect for her position, even love, ruled his emotions when he had cause to meet with her.  Hux had always considered Leia as a kind of surrogate mother after so many inclusive gatherings with her family, and soon she would actually _be_ family, as his mother-in-law.  As he came within the proper distance of the dais, he clicked his heels together at attention and executed a precise bow, "Your Imperial Highness, how may I serve?"

 

"How, indeed, Commander Hux?” Her voice and demeanor were colder than usual, and she seemed to regard him with suspicion. “Something very disturbing has recently been brought to my attention.”

When her words failed to elicit any kind of fearful response from him, other than confusion, she continued.  “Apparently, you committed fraud when you sliced the admissions database and entered the Royal Imperial Academy as a cadet. I’m afraid this not only brings into question your entire service record, but could be legally construed as an act of treason."

 

He drew in a sharp breath, shocked not that she had found out -- Empress Organa may as well have been a goddess for all her famed omniscience -- but that she would bother bringing up something so insignificant now, and especially that she would accuse him of treason.  "I did what I had to do. I'm not ashamed of that."

 

Leia frowned.  That was certainly not the answer she was expecting.  She had been counting on contrition and the compliance that comes along with it.  One fine eyebrow arched as she observed him.

 

"I might have been, nine years ago when I did it, but I believe that my service record has been nothing short of flawless since then.  My loyalty to the Empire is, and has always been, incontestable."

 

"And how am I to know that stellar record of yours isn't also due in part to your apparently excellent slicing skills?"

 

"I shall not insult your intelligence by assuming you are not familiar with every aspect of my life, particularly since you discovered this... past transgression. And I am absolutely certain that my superiors and subordinates alike would vouch for me."

 

Leia stared at him in silence until he gave a slight twitch of discomfort.  It took longer than she thought it would.  She reached out to sense his feelings and could tell that he was not lying; fraudulent enlistment had been his one and only questionable act.  She also noted that he felt completely justified in his actions; proud, even, of having accomplished something so difficult. The longer her careful scrutiny of him went on, a hint of fear surfaced when he started to suspect where this might be leading.  Addressing those suspicions, she said, "The marriage is off. I cannot have my son wed someone whose integrity is questionable."

 

He exhaled as though he'd been shot in the gut.  Hux never suspected that she would go back on her word, nor question his honor, however foolishly he had behaved as a child.

 

“Please, Your Imperial Highness, I—” He wanted to beg, cry, plead, but he knew it would fall on deaf ears and he would only lose what little dignity he still had.  He couldn't imagine any kind of a life without Ben, or Leia, in fact.  Her word was law, and he had trusted it with the very essence of his being.  His disappointment in her, and in himself, twisted into a deeper anguish that manifested as a constricting, physical pain in his chest, making it hard to breathe.  Though his inner turmoil raged like a storm, his face remained completely unreadable, if somewhat paler than usual.  "With all due respect, I do not believe my integrity has ever been in question, yet this is what you would do? Blackmail me? Threaten me with this information? Honestly, I think the Royal Academy would look very inept indeed if it came to light that a desperate 14 year old boy with nothing more than a hacked together datapad, a public terminal, and a sack of scrimped and saved credit chips was able to slice the systems of the top academy in the galaxy."

 

She tilted her head and leaned forward slightly, impressed by the audacity implied in his statement.  "Is that a threat, young man?"

 

He could not allow himself to be shaken; he had to use whatever advantages he had to try to save his marriage.  "Not at all, Your Imperial Highness.  Simply a fact.  I stand by what I did.  Yes, it was dishonorable, but so was my father, going behind my back to have my application denied.  I had the scores.  I earned my place there.  And he has done everything in his power, at every step of my career, to poison me to anyone who would listen, and attempt to ruin me with every chance he got. Even so, I never thought _you_ would resort to this tactic. I'm—" He searched for the right word to express his feelings, which had always been so difficult for him to recognize. Right now, he had too many to choose from: hurt, betrayed, abandoned, lost, afraid, devastated.  All too personal.  Too dramatic.  He wanted to be honest, but his faith had been shaken to its core, and he had to remain diplomatic.  "—disappointed.  Do you have any idea what you mean to me? I'm honored to have been a guest in your home so many times.  You and Moff Phennir treated me with kindness and respect, and showed me what a family should be.  I am forever grateful, and loyal, to your family for that.  I love the Empire with all my heart.  It gave me everything I have.  And you _are_ the Empire." 

 

Tears welled up in his eyes, highlighting the fervor with which he spoke.

 

"Of course, it's your right to take it all away, but you must have known, all this time, how Ben and I felt towards each other. How we changed each other for the better. And you must have known, too, that you only _ever_ had to _ask_ me to leave and I would have. You didn't have to drag what little self-esteem I had through the dirt like this. I had no idea you despised me this much. I was under the impression we had your blessing and your word. Nonetheless," Hux took a deep, shuddering breath to keep his emotions in check, "I will do what is best for your family, if that is truly your desire. However, will you at least do me the kindness of granting me the name of my detractor? I think, at the very least, I deserve to know who brought this indiscretion of mine to your attention."

 

"I believe you already know who that was."

 

He closed his eyes and the tears he’d held in check fell freely.  The leather of his gloves creaked in protest as his trembling fists curled even tighter.  His head shook in denial even as he said the words: "My father."

 

Leia nodded. "Understand, Hux, that I do not do this to you out of cruelty.  Ben, and House Organa, and by extension the Empire itself, would be better served if Ben were to wed someone of a noble house."

 

His heart broke in two places: one for the mother he always wished he'd had -- who apparently thought him as worthless as his father did, for nothing more than the circumstance of his birth -- and the other for his fiancé whom he would likely never see again after today.

 

"I do understand, and yet it is the cruelest order I've ever been given. Your son helped make me into the man I am today, and I should like to think I had some role in tempering his wild ways. He means everything to me. We were... good for each other."  When he realized he was already speaking in the past tense, Hux set his jaw and assumed the unshakable control he exhibited when in command.  His face betrayed no sign of his feelings other than the tears that continued to roll down, seemingly unnoticed. "I expect that this will not mean much to you, but I hope you will understand that I consider this an unforgivable breach of trust.  Even though, as a noble, I know you are under no obligation to keep your word to me, as I am no one of consequence, a promise is a promise.  However, my loyalty to you and to the Empire remains unshaken.  And I freely open my mind to you if you doubt my sincerity in this matter.  As my duty is now all I have left, I humbly ask that you allow me to continue to serve to my full ability."

 

Leia searched his feelings and found no reason to doubt that he would continue to serve the Empire admirably.  She had already seen for herself that he was a talented individual, and someone who had already accomplished great deeds in the name of the Empire.  Although Hux's heartbreak and utter devastation swirled through him like a tempest, she was somewhat relieved that she had not lost him to his emotions, as she feared she would Ben when he found out.  Even as she followed each distinct trail of sorrow, anger, abandonment, self-hatred, anguish, despair, she felt them being swept aside and locked away.  Hux was so overwhelmed that he had begun to shut down.  Eventually, numbness was all that was left, as though she were trying to read the feelings of a droid.  It was an impressive display of self-control, but also a worrying one.  A desperate man was a dangerous man.

 

Contrary to his assumption, his disappointment did sting.  Leia could be devious, but she had always held the integrity of her word in high regard. As open as Hux's thoughts were in the moment, she read, too, that his faith in her word had been destroyed.  Nothing she promised him now would be sufficient to motivate him.  His sense of self-worth had disintegrated, if he had ever had much to begin with.  He feared most of all, now, that he would continue to do his best but find himself "somehow" passed over for promotions, or shunted away to some far off, dead-end assignment on an obscure planet – all of his dreams and hard work coming to nothing.  A darker intention followed those what-ifs, but she had seen enough and pulled her consciousness back.

 

"Granted.  And, for what it’s worth, I assure you that your career shall continue unimpeded, provided your level of service remains as it always has."

 

"You will find no reason to fault my actions, Your Imperial Highness.  I swear it."

 

"Then you are dismissed."

 

Hux snapped to attention, bowed again, and left at a brisk clip.  He had to get to his quarters before anyone could see through his stoic exterior.  And they were _all_ watching him for any sign of what had transpired.  A private audience with the Empress, in the throne room, was a rare thing, and usually meant someone was being reprimanded.  Hux's private life was as impeccable as his service record, and without scandal and rumor to occupy their minds, he knew that a lot of court nobles were just waiting for the day he fell from grace.  He'd never felt so scrutinized in his life.  Surely they knew.  They could tell.  They could _all_ tell.  Failure must have been projecting from him like a HoloNews broadcast.

 

Though it was a long walk, he arrived at his quarters without losing control.  Standing there in the doorway, he couldn't remember what he'd been doing before he'd been summoned.  It was a first for him, with his eidetic memory.  The shock of loss had erased all other thoughts.  This should have frightened him, but his mind was completely blank.  The pain in his chest had only grown over the trek back, but he could no longer attach a feeling to the sensation.  He just stared at his desk, at his empty room, and sighed. 

 

Moving as if on autopilot, he followed a long-suppressed ritual from his childhood: Hux stopped first in front of the mirror and inspected his appearance, carefully removing any specks of dust and straightening his uniform.  He checked every crease, every fastener, every smooth swath of fabric until it met his expectations.  Then he sat as his desk, pulled open the drawer, and removed his blaster pistol.  Switching the power to its deadliest setting, he clicked off the safety and held it to his head.  

 

_Is today the day?_

He sat like that for a few minutes, considering all that had transpired with complete detachment.  

 

Hux had once thought his life could not get any worse.  After yet another of his father’s many punishments, as a lonely child on Arkanis, where he had no one and nothing to look forward to, he would sit in his room with his sidearm to his head and ask himself the same four questions: _Are conditions likely to improve? Can I find a way_ _to fix_ _this? Is there any reason to keep going? Is there any reason for my existence at all?_ Most of the time, all but one answer had been no. But, he'd had a plan to escape from his father, and it had worked.  Or so he had thought.  He had come so far since those days, and his progress had come from several unexpected sources.  Had he pulled the trigger back then, he would never have experienced love or success; he would never have experienced the astonishment he had on the day when all of those answers had been "yes" – even the last one, which had been "no" for as long as he could remember.  Perhaps, though he couldn't imagine it now, something else unpredictable would occur and deliver him from his despair.  Until all of the answers were decidedly in the negative, he made a pact with himself that he would not commit suicide.  Today, he was saved by a single "maybe".

 

_No. Not today. Tomorrow, perhaps._

As if he were doing something as mundane as checking the daily status reports, or going over a duty roster, he flicked the safety back on, powered down the blaster, and returned it to the drawer.  He stood again, still unable to recall what he had been doing before, and checked the bedside chronometer.   _21:13_.  He supposed he could go to bed – he was always in need of sleep – but the prospect of lying in his bed, alone, unsettled him, and it took him a while to pinpoint why.

 

He had come back to his _own_ quarters.  For the last five years, since their official engagement, he had been sharing Ben's room on the Death Star.  He'd only rarely used this room for work or when he needed to be free from distractions.  No wonder he couldn't remember what he'd been doing; he hadn’t been in here for weeks. 

 

His datapad was in Ben's room.

 

Certain that he could not handle going back there right now, no matter how important whatever he'd been doing was, he continued to stare off into the distance, for once at a loss as to how to proceed.  There were so many things that had to be done, but he was prepared to deal with none of them.  He had to remove his few possessions and return them to his own quarters.  Then there was the matter of the ring.  Of course he had to return it.  Protocol demanded it.  But how to go about it? He should do it in person, but that would likely cause a scene, and Ben would still be away on his own mission for several months yet.  No, he would have a trusted subordinate leave the ring in Ben’s room, and he would do it before Ben came back from his assignment.  He would also need to take up residence on a ship again, preferably before Ben returned as well.  He would have to check the volunteer mission assignments board and get himself reassigned as soon as possible.  Right now, in fact.  That, he felt he could manage.  He needed to keep moving.  Doing.  Action would keep him from dwelling on useless emotions.

 

All of these things ran through his mind without sentiment.  Just another list of tasks to be accomplished.

 

Hux moved through the corridors of the Death Star like a droid, unfeeling, his mind set to a singular, programmed function.  At a mission terminal, he scrolled through the list of assignments.  All of the volunteer assignments were either crushingly boring, or bordering on suicidal.  Typing in a command, he ordered the list from most to least dangerous, with a sub-routine for which missions had been posted the longest, and applied to the top three he felt he could reasonably perform.  All three were well below his clearance level and pay grade.  He didn't care about that, and he doubted the people in charge did either.  Within minutes of receiving his submission, his comlink pinged.

 

It was Hegan.

 

"Hux here. Go ahead."

 

"Hux, did you just apply for a transfer to the _Lost Star_?"

 

"I did."

 

"Well, I can't imagine why, but we'd sure be happy to have you! I'm just the comm monitor, but I'll put in a word for you to our captain.  This is black-level clearance stuff we're talking about.  I shouldn't even mention it over a secure comlink. Can you meet me at the Shady Traveler in ten minutes?"

 

"I'm in quad A-1 right now, but I'll head over immediately."

 

"Oooo. A-1, huh?" He could almost hear her wink. "Bumping uglies with Ben, eh?"

 

"I'll see you in…” he ran the calculation of distance and speed in his head, ignoring her crass remark, “22 minutes." Hux cut off the call and headed through the series of turbolifts that would take him to the seedier inner levels of the Death Star.

 

He arrived at the Shady Traveler pub exactly one minute before he'd predicted.  Several lower ranking officers scurried off when they saw him approach.  While officers were not forbidden from partaking in any of the various entertainments available on the Death Star, visiting a place such as this was... discouraged.

 

Hegan saw him and waved him in.  " _Stang,_ Hux. You think you're dressed up enough? Very undercover.  Very chill."

 

He was glad that she looked well after not having seen her in the last two years, but he had forgotten how abrasive she could be.    

 

"Hegan, please.  Not today.  What's the job?"

 

She ushered him over to a table where three other beings were seated.  A human woman, who he assumed was the captain from her bearing and tone; a Cathar man, an engineer from the looks of his oil-stained clothing and hands; and a human man that Hux recognized as an Imperial Intelligence officer.  Hegan introduced him around and the captain accepted her recommendation, welcoming Hux to the mission and laying out the overall details. What had been a scientific mission to a besieged Mid-Rim world had turned into a rescue and recovery operation.  Two ships had already been sent in and never heard from again, and the materiel they had been carrying was of the top secret variety; it had to be recovered at all costs.

 

Hux agreed to the job, and would report for a full briefing at 01:00, followed by immediate departure.

 

He shook hands with the captain and crew and got up to leave.  "Hegan, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"

 

"Sure."

 

She followed him out into the corridor where he found an unoccupied alcove.  "Hegan, I need you to do something for me.  It's important and it needs to be done tonight, before we go.  Could you spare maybe half an hour?"

 

She frowned, sensing something deeper than his casual air belied.  "Yeah.  No problem."

 

He pulled off his glove and removed his engagement ring.  The finality of taking it off crushed all remaining hope in him.  Taking her hand (which he noticed now bore its own ring) in his, he pressed the ring into her palm and closed her fingers around it.

 

"Oh, Hux... Armitage..."

 

Hegan had called him by his first name only twice before.  Once, out of sympathy, when he’d revealed the reason for his scarred back during SERE training at the Academy, and once when he'd officially announced his engagement and she'd been overjoyed for him.  Now, she looked as if she might cry.

 

"It's over. I can't--" he stopped, surprised by the sudden cracking of his voice, and swallowed back the urge to cry, "I can't talk about it. Please leave this on the desk and take my things to my quarters.  I've made a list." He handed her a data chip with a one-time door access code and the list that he'd composed on the way to their meeting. "There isn't much. Everything should fit into one crate. The entry code is on the chip. He's not there right now, but... I just..."

 

Her brow furrowed in sympathy. "It's alright, Hux. I'll take care of it."

 

"Thank you."

 

With a final squeeze of his hand, Hegan hurried off.  Hux considered going back into the bar for a drink or two, but decided that lowered inhibitions would not be to his advantage right now.  He walked back to his quarters, taking the long route so as to give Hegan time to complete the task.  When he finally arrived, Hegan was long gone and the crate was sitting next to his closet.  He didn't really want to open it now, but his datapad was in there and he needed it for the mission.

 

_It's just my stuff_ _. What’s there to be afraid of?_

 

He took a breath and opened the crate.

 

His datapad was on top, as was his spare uniform and PT outfit.  Other clothes, including his dress uniform, filled the bottom of the crate. Hegan, knowing his penchant for tidiness, had folded everything neatly for him.

 

Next to his dress blacks was a worn leather cuff and a note.

 

_This wasn't on your list, but I think it's yours? You used to wear this under your uniform during hard times at the Academy, so I thought it must mean something to you. If I'm wrong, just let me know and I'll take it back._

Hux dropped to his knees, overpowered by the surge of memory and despair he felt at seeing it.

 

Ben had presented him with the handmade cuff after they'd decided their feelings for one another were both mutual and serious.  It was a simple, triangular strip of leather that wrapped around on itself and fastened through a set of loops on top.  The underside of it was engraved in a language Hux didn't understand, but Ben had explained it was an ancient Sith mantra of protection and empowerment.

 

The uniform code forbade such accoutrements, but Hux knew that almost all of the students there had some form of lucky charm or memento of their homeworlds that they wore discreetly, so he felt it was more of a guideline than a hard and fast rule.  It was flat enough that it went unnoticed under the long-sleeved, gray tunic, and so long as it didn't interfere with the smooth lines of his uniform he could maintain an entirely professional appearance.  Even so, he only wore it when he needed to feel especially close to Ben and draw strength from their connection.

 

He had stopped wearing it as much in recent years, not only because they then had rings that could be worn in the open (and which were inscribed on the inner band with the same Sith mantra), but because the leather had become damaged and brittle over the many, terrible battles it had suffered through.  From the fall of Coruscant to its reclamation, for four years Hux had not taken it off.  When he couldn't be by Ben's side, it had helped him find the courage to make it through the horrors of war, knowing there would be a light on the other side someday.

 

Now that light had been extinguished, and all of his happiness and hope with it.

 

Ben had taken him from a world as gray and regimented as his uniform, and given him life, coaxing feelings out of him that he didn't even know he had.  Hux hadn't even known he'd _wanted_ to feel again until he'd met Ben.  It had been terrifying, but also liberating.  He had finally shrugged off the chains his father had locked around his heart, and learned that trust and love were not weaknesses, but acts of great courage. Now, he was being forced from a life of color and vibrancy back to that dark, monochrome existence, and he had to forget that he’d ever learned to see.

 

He had to find his way back to that dark place that permitted no joy, but he didn't know how to anymore.  Ben's light had illuminated the stygian caverns of his subconscious, exposing the horrible wrongness of being trapped in such an unforgiving space.  The path back to it was overgrown from years of neglect.

 

The terrible realization that he'd forgotten how to be alone settled over him like the inescapable pull of a black hole. It should have been easy, familiar even, but knowing he had only ever coped with loneliness because he had no basis for comparison, he sank into the smallness of himself, crushed by a singularity of despair. 

 

He clutched the bracelet to his chest and collapsed in a sobbing heap against the crate.  His whole body rocked with the force of his cries.  Letting it all out seemed like the best way to get himself back on track, so he gave in to the agony, feeling himself slip further and further into that bleak well of nothingness with every heaving sob.

 

After some time he pulled himself to his feet, folded the cuff into the flimsiplast note, and stuffed it back under the layers of clothing. He buried his emotions and locked them away, too, as he hid the precious bracelet and secured the crate.  He scrubbed his eyes dry and went into the 'fresher to splash some cold water on his face.  Looking in the mirror he hardly recognized himself, but he was in control again, going about his business with the emotionless efficiency of a droid.

 

He packed his go bag for the mission, and then went about clearing out his quarters, putting all the other belongings that he wouldn't need into the crate.  There wasn't much; he'd never been one for possessions.  Computer equipment, his custom tool set, a collection of his favorite music and literature on some datacards, and a spare set of uniform tunics and pants.  Looking around the room one last time, Hux confirmed he had everything packed away.  He would not be coming back here.


	2. Chapter 2

Against all odds, the mission was a success, as were the twelve others he engaged in over the following two months.  Though Hux continually deployed on missions of increasing risk to contested areas of the Mid and Outer Rim, his sense of pride in his duty and skills would not allow him to fail, no matter how badly he hoped for a stray round of blaster fire to take him out.  Before long, he was leading the missions and posting his own volunteer requests, rather than just taking part in them. 

 

Hux developed a reputation for being the fearless, efficient, well-oiled cog in the Empire's war machine that kept on going and getting things done when everything else broke down around him.  He had become as cold and hard as the alusteel frame of his command ship, never smiling and no longer socializing with his crew beyond the barest minimum of necessary interaction.  Those under his command still found him to be fair and just, and though he never took undue risks with _their_ lives it became clear he had a death wish for himself.

 

Upon his return and de-briefing from his latest covert mission, Hux received orders to don his dress blacks and immediately report to the bridge of the _Finalizer_ , one of KDY's latest _Imperial III_ -class Star Destroyers, and one which he had personally helped to design.

 

The bridge was quiet at this time of night.  An ensign announced his arrival, and the skeleton crew of the middle watch stood and saluted him as he approached Commodore Ruulan.  Grand Admirals Wermis and Sloane, Admiral Ree, Anakin, Hegan, and Dlarit were there as well.  So was Ben.  The sight of him almost stopped Hux in his stride; the carefully constructed fabric of his façade started to unravel.  Once in range, Hux saluted and announced himself formally, "Commander Armitage Hux, reporting for duty, Sir."

 

Ben was smiling, but when he caught Hux's gaze he frowned in confusion.  His concerned, dark eyes searched Hux's for some sign as to why he felt so distressed.

 

 _He doesn't know yet_... _He must have come here directly after debriefing._

 

And, even more frightening, once he noticed the Holorecorder cam droids hovering behind Ben, _The Empress is going to think I'm disobeying orders..._

 

He'd forgotten to change his promotion protocols; he hadn't expected a promotion this soon (or, ever again, really.).  As his (former) fiancé, naturally Ben was his designated rank pinner.  

 

He had to pretend everything was alright.  It wasn't fair to Ben to find out here, in front of his friends and family, and on live broadcast no less.  Hux hoped Ben would think he was just being stoic and following protocol, as was his nature.  

 

Hux stood at attention, clenching his fists to stop their trembling.  He should have been happy, ecstatic even.  Achieving captain at 23 -- 2 years earlier than his goal -- and being decorated by the man he loved in front of his mentor, Grand Admiral Wermis, and idols, Grand Admiral Sloane and Admiral Ciena Ree.  All he'd ever wanted in life, and yet, an overwhelming sense of dread cracked the shell of indifference he'd constructed around himself.  He felt nothing that he thought he would -- pride, joy, accomplishment -- _nothing_.  If he were being honest with himself, he didn't even want to be there.  Anger seeped in at the edges of his consciousness: everything was ruined now, tainted by his miserable existence.  He couldn't even enjoy the one thing he had left to him.

 

Commodore Ruulan began the ceremony, "Attention to orders: Empress Organa, acting upon the recommendation of the Director of the Fleet, has placed special trust and confidence in the patriotism, integrity, and abilities of Commander Armitage Hux.  In view of these special qualities and his demonstrated potential to serve in the higher grade, Commander Armitage Hux is hereby promoted to the permanent grade of Captain of the Imperial Navy, effective immediately, by order of the Director of the Fleet."

 

Grand Admiral Wermis handed Hux's new rank pin to Ben, who stepped forward to remove the old one and replace it with the new.  Though Ben glanced up at him several times, hoping to catch his eye, Hux stared straight ahead.  

 

*Tage, what's wrong?*

 

Hux struggled to hide what little emotion threatened to break free, and buried all other thoughts under layers of coded association, as Ben had taught him.  He did not allow anything to surface as a possible answer to Ben's worried question.  At least Ben could be happy for him.

 

Ben moved back, still smiling, but Hux could see the hurt and confusion in his eyes.  

 

Stepping forward, Grand Admiral Wermis re-administered the Oath of Office, and exchanged salutes with Hux, who was now officially the youngest captain the Empire had ever commissioned.  Everyone on the bridge applauded.  Commodore Ruulan cleared his throat to call for silence and spoke, "Additionally, as I will be taking charge of the _ISD Talon_ , effective immediately, Captain Hux has been selected to serve as commander and captain of the _ISD Finalizer_.  Welcome to your new command, Captain Hux."

 

Hux saluted Ruulan as well, and said, "Thank you, sir.  It is my pleasure to serve.  And I would like to thank the officers and soldiers in my command who helped to make this promotion possible."

 

It should have meant _everything_ to him.  Somewhere in the back of his mind, it might have.  If his life hadn't been turned upside down, it might have.  But, right now, the only thought echoing in his head was: _Is today the day?_

As soon as the ceremony was over, Hux shook hands with each of the attendees in turn and genuinely thanked them for coming.  Hegan looked as though she might cry when she met his gaze.  She was the only one present who seemed to know what had transpired in Hux's relationship, and she could see just how much he'd changed in the short, few months since then.

 

A small reception had been planned in one of the ready rooms.  There was no way he could get out of it, and the informal nature of the party meant that Ben would be right next to him the entire time.  Ben took his hand as they walked into the party, and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. Hux felt as though he'd been burned.  He forced himself to smile.  

 

He wanted Ben's touch so badly it he could feel the need of it in every pore of his skin.  Maybe he could just let himself enjoy it this one last time.  Everyone expected this to be one of the happiest moments of his life.  He had promised Ben that once he'd made captain, and proven his worth not only to the galaxy but to himself, he would be ready to go through with the marriage.  Hux had always been keenly aware of his lack of noble standing, compared to the marriage partners of Ben’s other siblings, and had forced himself to wait until he felt he could bring something marginally substantial to the table.  Now he wished he’d just gone through with it earlier, when Ben had first pushed him to elope, instead of trying to do the honorable thing in deference to the Noble Houses.

 

Hux squeezed Ben's hand fiercely, wishing he never had to let go.  He allowed the swell of love and desperate need to wash over him once more.  It broke free with such force that it rushed through him like the breaking of a dam.  It didn't matter if he let his feelings go.  Today _was_ the day.  One last time with Ben, and then...

 

Ben glanced over at him, worry evident in his dark features.  He had felt the lack of emotion give way to Hux's usual feelings.  He leaned in for a real kiss, and Hux let him.  He had already pushed aside memories of that hot mouth and searching tongue; it was like coming alive again, feeling Ben's soft lips on his.  Everything was suddenly so vibrant again, so right.  This was who he was meant to be, and who he was meant to be with.  Hux blushed and pulled away (though he was reluctant to do so) as the small crowd of his friends "ooo"-ed and applauded over his not-so-serious breach of protocol.

 

He smiled at Ben, then.  It wasn't as sincere as he'd hoped, both because he was out of practice and it was tainted by grief at the knowledge of what was to come, but it was a smile nonetheless.

 

Ben called a toast, and spoke eloquently about their time together, lauding Hux's abilities and wondering aloud if Hux's stoic and diplomatic ways would continue to have an effect on him now that they would finally be getting married.  Everyone laughed.

 

The mention of marriage made Hux look away in shame and sorrow.  Hegan met his brief gaze with an outpouring of sympathy that threatened to break his charade.  Hux had never tried harder to mask his true feelings and keep a straight face in his life.

 

The party was short -- they were in the middle of a duty cycle, and it was a late shift -- but Hux found himself wishing it wouldn't end.  Eventually it had to, and he thanked everyone appropriately before hurrying to his new quarters with Ben trailing behind.

 

As soon as the door shut, Ben wrapped his arms around Hux from behind, leaning in to sniff and kiss at the nape of his neck.  "Tage, what the _frack_ is going on? Why do I sense so much conflict in you?"

 

Hux turned and pressed himself to Ben's chest, tears glittering in his eyes as he looked back at him.  "Stars, Ben, fuck me!" he choked, "I need you--"

 

Something was wrong.  Ben let go and slid his arms around to take Hux's hands into his, searching his pale jade eyes for some clue.  Then he felt it: the lack of a familiar bump under Hux's glove.  Frowning, he pulled Hux's gloves off and saw his bare hands.  Bringing Hux's soft fingertips to his lips he kissed them, still confused by the disparate emotions radiating from his lover.  "What happened to your ring? Did you lose it? I won’t be mad, if that’s what you’re worried--"

 

Hux's whole body shook with the effort of stamping down his panic and heartache.  Meeting Ben's loving gaze he couldn't hold back any longer, collapsing against him and sobbing.  "It's-- it's over, Ben.  Your mother-- she-- she found out that I-- cheated to get into the academy.  It would be a scandal.  She won't allow us to get married.  It's over."

 

It was all too sudden and too much for Ben to process.  "Wait. Hux. What? You cheated at the academy? What do you mean? Why would _you_ have to do that?"

 

Hux felt his knees give out, and Ben caught him and guided him over to the bed where he slumped, defeated and suddenly, eerily numb again.  "Go on," he said, leaning over to press his forehead to Ben's, "Look.  I'm tired of hiding it all.  I can't anymore.  You should know.  Go on.  All of it."

 

Ben pulled back and held Hux's face in his hands, wiping at his tears with his thumbs and looking deep into his eyes.  He frowned, not in anger, but in discomfort and concern.  He thought he’d already seen the worst of it years ago when they were kids and he was trying to teach Hux to shut Force-users out.  He wasn't sure he wanted to know more. That there even was more worried and saddened him. "Are you sure?"

 

"Yes.  Do it.  It doesn't matter anymore."

 

Closing his eyes, Ben reached out through the Force to touch Hux's mind.  He didn't even have to push; all of it was right there on the surface for the taking.  It took less than a minute, but Ben witnessed and _felt_ a lifetime of misery and terror.  

 

 _Visions, memories of pain, all the beatings, whippings,_ _confinements,_ _drugging, cutting, starvation, mental and physical tortures he'd suffered at the hands of his own father, the profound and unbearable loneliness and constant fear, an emotionally distant "mother" who never held or comforted or reassured him, repeated rapes and assaults at the hands of the other cadets and the terror and rage that had consumed him when he finally retaliated_ _(he stabbed that boy 17 times, once for each attack, and felt no remorse but hated himself all the while)_ _, the ingrained sense of worthlessness, of hopelessness, of shame, the suppression of everything that he had ever been_ _(_ _he had been a sensitive, kind, boy who wanted to be a veterinarian, or a musician_ _),_ _he had loved and trusted even through all that hurt, no matter how agonizing (it was_ always _deserved) trying to appease his father and never understanding why he wasn't good enough, what was wrong with him, why he had to be so useless and broken and unworthy of love when all he ever wanted was to make his father proud._

The rapid fire visions slowed to a more cohesive memory.

 

 _So desperate to be free of all this, he tried to get away, applying in secret for a transfer to the Royal Academy on Coruscant, even then, hoping to earn his father's love and approval by proving himself as a top student at the most prestigious academy in the galaxy.  But his father found out, and worked behind the scenes to get his application revoked in order to keep Armitage under his thumb.  With nowhere to turn but suicide -- so many attempts, almost daily, for years,_ Is today the day? _A blaster in his hand, and before that a knife, or a rope, or a needle_ _(he was 10 the first time he tried)_ _\-- he grabbed what little money he had, took his datapad down to_ _Jasko’s_ _tap cafe, and paid_ _a hefty fee_ _for access to a shielded terminal where he sliced into the_ _Royal Academy’s_ _Student Admissions directory and changed his application from "denied" to "approved".  What little confidence he had was directed toward the assurance that he could handle it at the Royal Academy.  He had earned the scores and it wasn't fair_ _that he should be denied_ _.  He deserved this chance, and he would have it or he would die.  The instant his datapad received transmission of his acceptance letter and student handbook, he boarded the first ship off Arkanis and never looked back._

Ben grabbed Hux, pulling him into a ferocious embrace, wishing he could draw him into his very core where he would be protected and loved unconditionally, eternally.  His mind reeled from the sorrow he felt, and tears cascaded down his face. "Tage... Oh, stars, Tage... I..."

 

Even momentarily disconnected, Ben was still aware of Hux's overwhelming shame.  He cried even harder when he felt all of those emotions draining away again, being siphoned off into a deep, dark well of depression.  He had to do something to fight back, but mere words couldn't express what he needed Hux to know.

 

*Please, don't go back there.*

 

He reestablished the telepathic connection, this time opening his own mind to Hux.  Armitage couldn't read it on his own, so Ben pushed his consciousness forward, like he did when searching for deeper information, but not as forcefully.  It was still unpleasant, but it was the best he could do to let a non-Force sensitive into his private world.

 

Every thought was accompanied by feelings and images of their happiness together, and the way Ben connected emotionally to him and their shared memories.  

 

 _Our morning cup of caf, still in bed, catching up on the news and reluctant to pull ourselves away to start the day apart from each other.  The fumbling, awkward act of pure need that was our first time.  Unconscious in each other's arms_ _in the middle of the battlefield encampment,_ _after weeks of sleepless_ _war_ _on Mechis III, too exhausted to care about the uncomfortable way we'd tangled ourselves together in our desperation to be close.  Working out together.  Your eyes.  The way my hands can make you feel when you lower your guard enough to let me give you a massage.  The twinge of fear and swell of pride every time you go away on a mission without me.  Your smile.  Pretending to be asleep but admiring you as you step out of the shower and into your uniform, transforming into someone else before my eyes._ _Your voice when you sometimes hum yourself to sleep and think I’m not listening._ _Bickering and knowing we're going to make up for it later.  Your laughter.  Going out to the opera and seeing the private bliss of the music taking hold of you in a way that nothing else can, not even me.  The intensity of our lovemaking every time we thought we'd lose one another in some part of this never-ending_ _, stars-forsaken_ _war. The immobilizing horror that overcomes me at the thought that someday, we_ will _be parted._

*But not today. Not now. Today is _not_ the day, Tage. We can't lose this. It's too important for both of us. You are all of these things, and so much more. You are _everything_ to me! I love you!*

 

Armitage slumped against him, physically and emotionally exhausted.  He was content just to be held in these last moments they had together, even though he felt he didn't deserve it.  For Ben, this pain was fresh; it was in his nature to fight and rail against the injustice of it.  But Hux had been suffering through this for two months already (and for fourteen years before that) and it had never really been in his nature to fight back.  He'd done that twice in his life, and once had gotten him into this very situation.  

 

The only feeling left now was guilt for dragging Ben through this. All other emotions had bowed down to that great emperor and commander of his internal empire: shame.  Hux didn't know how to love, perhaps he had never known, and playing at it had only brought hurt to the person he cared most about in the entire galaxy.

 

"I gave her my word. There is nothing to be done now."

 

Ben was shaking now, terrified at the lack of emotion he felt in Hux, and enraged at the woman who'd done this to him.

 

"There is.  And I'm going to do it."

 

Ben stood up and started to storm out, but Hux caught his hand.  "Don't. Please. Not for me. I couldn't-- I couldn't live with that."

 

"I'm just—” Ben took a deep breath, “We're just going to talk.  I'll make her see reason.  It won't come to _that_."  He stepped back to where Hux sat, limply on the edge of the bed, and cupped both hands around Hux's thin, cold fingers.  "Stars, you're shivering and exhausted. Here..." Ben unfastened Hux's tunic and pulled it off, hanging it up in the bare closet.  "Lie back."

 

Hux flopped backwards onto the bed, neither hindering nor helping Ben remove the rest of his clothing.  Once Ben had put everything away properly, he came back and pulled Armitage under the covers and tucked him in. "Just rest, it's late. I'll go talk to my mother, I know she's awake -- she sensed my anger and I'm sure she's expecting me.  I'll be back as soon as possible." He stood to go, but hesitated a moment, leaning back down to brush the fringe of Hux's hair from his forehead, where he planted a soft kiss.  "I love you."

 

Closing his eyes, Hux gave the barest of nods and pulled the blankets tighter around himself.  Ben watched him for a long time, worrying and wanting to just climb into bed with him and forget the outside world.  _Frack_ _her, she can wait_ , he thought.  On the other hand, this needed to be done.  Hux had been hurting long enough already, and was on the verge of giving up entirely.

 

Ben, thinking Hux already asleep, jumped when he said, "Do you think there's some facet of the multiverse out there, in which we got to be happy?"

 

"We'll be happy in this one.  It won't be easy, but we will be.  You'll see.  Hang in there."

 

"I love you," Hux said, his voice already heavy with sleep.

 

Those three small words lifted his heart and Ben couldn't help but smile through his sadness.  It was the first time Hux had ever _said_ he loved him.  He wished it weren't under such dire circumstances.

 

He knelt beside the bed and gave Hux another kiss on the cheek before departing and catching a shuttle over to the Death Star.

 

He was connected to Hux, more deeply now than ever before, and still he felt _nothing_. It was unbearable.  Ben let the frustration and helplessness fuel his rage, but not too much.  He had told Hux he wouldn't kill Leia, and he at least had to try to keep that promise.  _Frack knows enough promises have been broken here already._

The shuttle landed and he was first down the ramp, marching off toward his parents' quarters in a swirl of black and malice.  Everyone that encountered him scurried out of his path like insects afraid of being crushed under heel.  He reached out to sense his mother's presence and was surprised to find her in the throne room.  _At this time of night? So, she does expect a showdown, then. What vile tricks will she have in store for me?_

In the turbolift, Ben ran his thumb over the ridge of his engagement ring.  This was an argument he wasn’t prepared to have.  He shouldn't _have_ to have it.  His mother promised him this.  He'd worked so hard to become what she wanted, to do something that would make her proud, to prove that he could hold together this Empire that she cared more about than her own son, and Hux had done the same.  There was one thing he wanted, that she had _granted_ , and now she'd yanked it away -- _and for what?_ _Is_ _she goading_ _me_ _into this fight? D_ _oes_ _she want_ _me_ _to make_ _my_ _move?_ _She ha_ _s_ _to know_ _I’m not_ _going to enter into some sort of ridiculous arranged marriage._  He hadn’t wanted to before, and he certainly didn’t intend to now.

 

The doors slid open and he stomped into the throne room, immediately extending his senses through the Force to detect any other presences.  They were alone.  He had expected Anakin to be there, at the very least.

 

Leia, dressed in a tight fitting, armored bodysuit rather than her usual flowing gowns, sat up straight and proud on the throne.  Her lightsaber, though off, was already in her hand, laid out along the armrest.  She was ready for a fight.

 

"So that's your decision, then.  You're not content with ruining Hux, you're actually going to kill me, too."  He narrowed his eyes, hatred surging through him.

 

"I believe in being prepared.  Are you telling me you haven't come here to kill me?"

 

"I came here to talk.  To find out why you lied to me.  Again."

 

"I? Lied to you? Hux has broken faith with me and with the Empire.  He's lucky I didn't have him executed for his treasonous act."

 

"'Treasonous act'? What the _frack_ is wrong with you? He was a kid! He had no other choice!"

 

"There is always a choice."

 

"No! You don't get to sit there, on your throne, with your perfect childhood, raised by parents who loved you and gave you everything even though you weren't theirs, and talk about the 'choices' people make in desperation when they have none of that! What choice have you ever made under threat of death? What choice have you ever made that wasn't just to get something that you wanted? Yeah, I know: you killed your brother, whom you never knew, you killed your father, and then you killed your _real_ father -- _all_ choices made for power and advancement and _none_ because you had to to fulfill the basic need to survive! And you accuse _me_ of being selfish! I asked you for _one_ thing! One _fracking_ thing! And you couldn't be bothered to keep your word on that! And this obsession you have with birthright -- you were no one, once! The Organas took you in! You weren't born to this! You've built an Empire on the names of two people whose murders you orchestrated! A name that isn't even yours! And you dare -- you _fracking_ _dare_ to disparage the man I love for being 'no one'!"

 

"Do you even know what he did? How can I allow my son to get married to someone who has held themselves up to everyone as the pinnacle of honor and built their entire career on a lie? What other secrets has he hidden? What else will come back to bite you when the jealous Elder Houses start digging into his past? Because it’s a certainty: if I know, it’s only a matter of time before they find out."

 

"I know _everything_ about him.  He has done _nothing_ to be ashamed of."  Ben snarled,"Do you know what _you_ did? You _fracking_ _destroyed_ him! He loves you like the mother he never had! He _still_ does, because he's never learned that abuse and betrayal aren't part of love! His father _tortured_ him, ever since he was a _child_.  And when he wasn't the one abusing him, he stood by and allowed others to do it. Nine years! Nine _fracking_ _years_ it took me to get Hux to open up, to trust, to acknowledge his own self-worth, to _try_ to feel safe with me. To try to understand that hurting someone isn't how you show affection.  And my need to prove this to him tamed my destructive selfishness, and taught me how to be a better man.  Isn't that what you wanted from me? How dare you say his honor is questionable when it's the only thing even keeping him alive right now! But for his keeping his word to _you_ , he would kill himself.  It's all he thinks about.  He's thinking about it right now..." 

 

Ben held his head in his hands, wanting to banish the cloud of darkness that hovered around his mind but terrified of losing his connection to Hux.  "He should have been so happy tonight.  Proud of himself.  It was the culmination of everything he's been working for since childhood.  I should have seen that rare, unguarded, beautiful smile of his, but instead all he wants is to die.  To be rid of the hurt that _you_ caused."

 

Leia stayed silent for a long time, coming to terms with the truth of what her son said.  She had been blinded by her perception of Ben as a destructive, selfish teenager, and she had failed to acknowledge the changes in him since he'd settled down with Hux.  In allowing her sentimental side to continue to think of him as her reckless little boy, she had made a grave error.  Indeed, she hadn't even seen that Hux was the primary catalyst for this maturity in Ben, assuming, instead, that it was a product of the wartime horrors he'd witnessed.

 

That Hux had been abused was something else she hadn't known.  It would make no difference in the eyes of the Elder Houses, but it was a personal failing on her part to not have been aware of his motivations.  He hid it well.  She had assumed his eagerness to please was just part of the typical, sycophantic behavior of military personnel.  When she discovered his intentions and loyalty to be genuine, she should have dug deeper.  Another mistake.

 

Ben's breathing was ragged with forced slowness and a tenuous command over his fury.  Already he had demonstrated more self-control than ever before.  Given the emotional turmoil she sensed within him, she had expected him to come at her with a flurry of relentless blows, not heartfelt words.  He had felt abandoned and betrayed by her before, but now he had lost all trust in her.  He despised her right now -- his hatred for her like a palpable heat rippling through the room, powerful enough to hum through the deck plates and transparisteel viewports.  He _wanted_ to kill her, but, even so, only because he saw it as his last, viable option.  Ben would run away, even defect if he thought Hux would go along with it, but Hux's sense of duty would never allow it.  She had underestimated Hux as well; probably without even knowing it, Hux was protecting her from her own son.  One wrong word on her part, one more slight against Hux, and Ben would attack.  She had pushed him into a corner and could not afford to underestimate either of them again.

 

"When you gave me the 'choice'--" Ben's voice was lower now, menacing, though he spat out that word as though it were poison in his mouth, "--of leaving House Organa to marry him, I should have taken it.  I see that now.  You thought I was being selfish, even then.  That I just wanted to have it all -- power, to be Sith, the throne, my happiness -- your plans be damned.  And, really, why shouldn't I want all of those things? Anakin has them. Samara has them. _You_ have them.  But you were wrong.  I wanted it for him.  I knew how important being part of a family was to him.  How important you are to him.  You think you know everything, but you don't know him, and you don't even know your own son.  I don't think you ever cared to."

 

"That's not true, Ben."

 

"Isn't it? Anakin has always been the golden boy.  You never wanted me.  All I've done is stand in your way and _frack_ up your _perfect_ plans."  Ben's fists opened and closed as he struggled to maintain his control.  His lightsaber twitched on his belt as though it had a life and desires of its own -- longing to carve swaths of destruction in his hands.  "I _hate_ you for what you've done to him.  I would strike you down right now for all the hurt you've caused us.  And yet, I can't kill you because _he_ would feel responsible.  He would carry that blame with him his whole life.  Remember that little speech you gave me the first time you stabbed me in the back? The one about not underestimating non-Force users? Well, you've done it.  You have no idea that, but for his loyalty to you, and my love for him, you would have died _years_ ago."

 

Ben glared at her.  Leia kept her cool expression -- she was far too practiced a politician to be outwardly rattled -- but Ben sensed her anger at him for speaking to her in this way, for turning her own words against her.  However, it was overshadowed by her fear and anger at her own, multiple, missteps.  He particularly relished her rising fury over the realization that she had never been able to manipulate and control him, yet this terminally insecure, non-Force sensitive, fiery-haired 'no one' from a backwater Outer-Rim planet held so much sway over his actions.  Hux's open hand had succeeded where her closed fist had not.

 

"You had better hope Hux lives a long and happy life, if you expect to keep yours," Ben sneered.  He held her gaze, letting her awareness of his hatred sink in before continuing.  "There are two things that can happen: tomorrow, I'm going to bring Hux here, and you are going to apologize for all the pain you've caused him.  You are going to keep your word.  We will be wed, and it will be a magnificent affair.  You will be there, smiling as though this were the happiest moment in your life, and you will continue to reciprocate his kindness and respect.  Otherwise, come at me.  Finish this now.  You clearly came dressed for the occasion, and I'll even give you the first strike.  I'm sure Hux won't blame himself if I kill you in self-defense."

 

Leia smiled.  Ben sensed the slightest hint of pride in Leia's mind before she leapt at him, lightsaber ablaze.  He barely had time to react, caught off guard by her sudden approval, and dove out of the way, rolling and leaping up into a defensive stance behind her.  He refocused himself, using his torturous link to Hux -- now a barren, empty wasteland of despair and anguish -- to stoke the fire of his hatred.  As if in response to the outpouring of anger, his lightsaber leapt to his hand and flashed to life, red beam streaking out and overflow energy bursting forth from the side vents.  He twirled it once to establish his grip, and with his other hand reached out to the Force to push Leia back mid-jump.

 

Gaining the advantage, Ben rushed forward.  He turned aside one of Leia's thrusts and whirled past her, turning in time to catch the crackle of purple lightning that arced from her fingers with his blade.  Ben dropped his guard, allowing the dark energy to course through him. It danced over his body and vibrated his muscles, but it didn't hurt as badly as it would have, had he not learned to absorb and turn it to his own use.  He grinned at the look of surprise on her face as her most powerful attack was thrown back at her with a blast of hatred and fury.  Leia's small body went flying into a faraway column.

 

She managed to cushion the strike with her command of the Force, but the back of her head had slammed into the unforgiving durasteel and she struggled to get back to her feet.  Ben pressed his advantage, knowing he had to keep her on the defensive to even have half a chance at defeating her. 

 

A flicker in the Force alerted him to Anakin’s arrival.  He stood by the turbolift, his arms folded across his chest, observing.  Ben sensed no intention to interfere, so he ignored his brother's presence.

 

Ben marched toward his mother, lightsaber drawn back in preparation for a brutal sweep, and stopped cold in his tracks as a single thought bridged his subconscious connection to Hux.

 

_Today is the day._

Ben's arms went limp as he refocused all his concentration into their telepathic link. *No! Tage, no! Don't--*

 

He cried out and collapsed to his knees, feeling the terrifying obliteration of all thought and the harsh severance of their connection as the blaster bolt ripped through Hux's head.

 

Leia watched as her son's face fell from a look of pure rage to one of shock and horror, and he dropped to the ground, one hand pressed to his head in confusion, as if he could push away what had just happened.  The depth of his heartbreak overwhelmed her senses.  She had always known Ben to feel everything with intensity, but she had never, in her life, felt such agony over the loss of another.  She understood immediately that Hux had just taken his own life.

 

Approaching him slowly, she did not gloat over his defeat.  Instead, she knelt in front of him, tears brimming in her eyes, and placed a small hand on his face.  He was her son, after all, and she loved him.

 

"Ben, I'm so sorry," she said, and plunged her lightsaber into his breast.

 

He gave a small gasp and focused his tear-filled gaze on hers.  "So am I," he whispered, his last act before the darkness claimed him to return her gesture.  The fiery blade pierced her heart, and they collapsed to the cold, metal deck together, all enmity forgotten.


End file.
